portland fans make 4 year old girls cry

had a dream last night, and it was weird.  let me share.

it was march 11th and i had just picked up my 4 year old from preschool and we were on our way to the portland v seattle game at qwest. she was SOOOOOOOOOOO excited for her first game (this part is true, she bugs me daily about going to the sounders).  so i was very happy for her and for me. what a great father/daughter bonding time. 

the next thing i know we are already parked and walking towards the stadium. my daughter had my golden scarf held above her head (no idea how she got it), and is singing that rude arsenal song ”ten men went to bed” which is a play on chelseas “ten men went to mow” (if you don’t know the song you can do your own research). I couldn’t believe what was coming out of her mouth, but at the same time I was so proud of her footy vernacular, her ability to keep up on current football chants, and let’s be honest, even the biggest chelsea supporter can’t truly like ashley cole as a person. so deep down, i justified the song she was singing.

*one second, i have to stop here… someone just tapped me on the shoulder and handed me a Father of the Year award.   i would like to thank everyone that voted for me.

ok, back to the dream*

so just as she is done with that song… i notice, out of the corner of my eye, a portland timbers fan sneaking up on my girl… all of a sudden he grabbed the golden scarf that she was wearing and started to run. oh… it was on.  i didn’t care so much about the scarf, but i did care that he took it from my daughter. as i ran after him, i could hear her crying behind me. not cool portland timber fan. as i was chasing this guy, it did occur to me that my daughter was now all alone, so i peered over my shoulder and saw that two of my good friends were there looking after her. phew, that worked out. thanks to the “incomplete dream story gods”.

i am not in my best shape of my life, but i caught the guy and wrestled him to the ground.  as i was trying to get the scarf back, i get kicked in the head and sides by a bunch of other timbers fans. i got beat up pretty bad in a short amount of time.

the police were relatively quick to the scene and break it up, but as i get back up on my feet, with blood dripping down my face, i feel some bracelets going around my hands behind my back. yup, “bracelets”, aka, handcuffs. i call them “bracelets” now, and in my dream, b/c i have been watching a lot of “the wire” and it has changed my vocab just a bit. i say ‘mos def’, ‘shorty’ and ‘hopper’ more as well.

as i get loaded into the paddy wagon, with a handful of timbers fans, i see my daughter crying on the street, with the burnt umber polka dot golden scarf draped around her neck.

her first sounders game was ruined.

but as we pull away, she starts singing ”build a bonfire” with portland on top and in the middle… a single tear of proudness was shed for her.

as i get home at 6 in the morning the next day, i see in the paperthat portland had won 3-1.

it was at that moment that my brain woke me up knowing that it all had to be a dream.